So what the hell, Technorati? Once upon a time, you courted me, treated me nice, and you pinged me daily. You told me that I was special, like I was 1 in 359,028. You instilled within me a sense of confidence in the form of ‘authority’. (Though, admittedly at first, I was confused by the use of the word ‘authority’. It wasn’t until no one would actually listen to me and respect my assumed ‘authority’ whenever I brandished it, that I landed on the sense of confidence thing. But anyway…forget I mentioned that.)So there I was believing in what we had, thinking that it was strong, and apparently kidding myself into imagining that it meant something to you.
bleeding heart icon by Icon Drawer
And now, a month later, nothing. You never ping me anymore. I’m still only as special as I was a week ago. 1 in 107,235. Dude! And my ‘authority’? Puh-lease. You tell me it’s 63, but then I find out through the digital grapevine that you are going around saying that it’s 45 to others. Really? Behind my back, like that. I never meant a thing to you, did I? And that I had to find out like that. You couldn’t even respect my ‘authority’ enough to just slag me off to my face. You know I’m a big blog now, I can take it. And you can’t even try to tell me that you were just trying to spare my feelings, because you never expected me to find any of this out. I thought better of you, Technorati. I thought you were different. I thought you were 1 in a million, but in the good way that the phrase used to mean.
Now that I have seen your true colors, I know that you aren’t special at all. You are just as disappointing as all the others. As it turns out, you are 1 in a million, but in the bad Technorati ranking kind of way. Okay, I admit, I said that just to hurt you. To make you feel that sad bitter sting of betrayal that I have felt in the days since you stopped pinging.
So I say, again, Technorati, what the hell? In my desperate search to make sense of the situation, I found others who have been hurt by you as well. It seems to be some kind of sick pattern with you. Suddenly not pinging for a month, flagging sites for no apparent reasons whatsoever, and making no attempts to return our inquiries. We just want to know what we’ve done. Is that too much to ask? Some semblance of an answer that could make us understand what happened. For me, personally, was it something I said? Was it that time you caught me pinging other sites? We never said we would be exclusive, and I mean, come on. I wasn’t pinging anywhere near as much or as many as you were! Hypocrite. I’m sorry, again, that was designed to hurt you. Which should show you how much you’ve thrown me. I’m not like this, and you know it.
Please, Technorati, come back to me. Ping me baby. Ping me.
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Assuming you are indoors, and that the building you are in has windows:
LOOK OUTSIDE.
We call it the ‘real world’. That’s the place where you are supposed to live.
I suggest you consider emigrating.
Hey Dan, assuming that you can read, and that you understand critical thinking (it’s a lot to assume I know, but whatever).
LOOK AT THE CATEGORY FILING.
We call it ‘humor’, and suggest you try to get a little sense of it yourself. It makes the ‘real world’ that you are so concerned with us not connecting with, a little easier to take.
Oh and since you know absolutely zilch about us, and even less about what you are talking about with regards to your failure of an evaluation, I would suggest that until you know more about what you are talking about, that you do considerably less of it. Just a suggestion.
kthnxbye