As someone with an avid online presence, and who is doubly an addict of Monty Python, I have a problem. I’m conflicted, and I can’t seem to sort it out. For years before I ventured online I was heartily enjoying daily doses of this zany madcap mayhem from the creative geniuses that are the Pythons. I would delight in the sheer senselessness of their skits, and all would be right with the world. Then I logged on to the world wide web, and something happened that I was unprepared for in any way. I received my first bit of SPAM (no, not the sickening canned meat, the SPAM I’m talking about is in relation to the internet, not the Pythons).

I was thrown. Suddenly I had launched myself into a world that I was unready for. A world that would come to make me loathe the word SPAM! Now if you are unfamiliar with the Monty Python bunch, and have never seen the ‘spam-skit’ then you are probably scratching your head and wondering how any of this rant is relevant, but I assure you that it is (I would also recommend that you hit up youtube and check it out, trust me, I mean, come on, I’m a vegan and I’m instructing people towards something Spam-related, so you know it has to be good.).

But anyway, I digress. So back to the point at hand. SPAM. ‘S’tupid — ‘P’ointless — ‘A’sinine — ‘M’essage. I’m sure you are familiar with the messages I’m talking about. They annoyingly fill your inbox, day in and day out, with unsolicited letters about your penis…and how unsatisfying it currently is (Or maybe that’s just me. Please say it’s not just me!) At first it was just one or two here and there, but like with the Python’s skit, it has gotten ridiculously out of control! Only the difference here is that with the Pythons, it’s at least entertaining. And since starting a blog, it’s endless! In the three months we’ve been operating the blog, we’ve gotten 334 comments, and our spam plugin has prevented 311 Stupid, Pointless, Asinine Messages ranging from overly excited online poker announcements, to some kind of threatening vocabulary lesson that begin with talk of throwing someone out of a window. I mean, what’s up with that?

It just seems like people should have something better to do than try to trick me into allowing their ‘compliment’ comment of my article that really made them think, or that they’ve always wanted to know more about. It’s ridiculous, and it needs to stop. I’m too the point, that I would be done with the word ‘spam’ altogether if it weren’t for the Pythons, so I’m taking it back! That’s right, I’m laying claim to reclamation, right here, right now! Python fans unite with me to take this reviled word back and restore it to it’s place of reverence. No longer will we allow this tarnished tag to share it’s namesake with the skit that holds a place in our hearts. No, from this day forth, these Stupid, Pointless, Asinine Messages will be called Bothersome — Ubiquitous — Stupid — Hindrances, or BUSH for short. I can’t think of anything we really have any kind of affection for baring that moniker…can you?

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