Arbenting

As so many are gathering to celebrate with kith and kin, we wanted to offer a cheerful sentiment to all of our readers and also feature a few user submitted pieces from the Arbenting Flickr Group by neslirawles. So we hope you enjoy.

Twas the week before Christmas,
And across the blogosphere,
Not a freelancer was posting
For their deadlines were near.
The harddrives were hanging
With minor software glitches,
Like Microsoft grinches
Lining up to steal Christmas.
The CSS junkies
Were styling their sheets
While the crunch of energy drink cans
Drifted up from their feet.
The clients keep calling
Wearing their ‘thinking’ caps
Trying to turn all our hard work
Into large piles of crap.
When out went the call
From all across the web.
The spammers had done it,
Social Media was dead.
Opening up my browser,
I clicked on a new tab,
Forgetting the deadlines
And about wrapping tags.
The moon was perched high
Just outside my window,
I know cause I turned
From the force of the blow.
When, what by my bloodshot eyes
Should shoot passed,
But a miniature sleigh,
And, boy was it moving fast.
The bearded old driver
Was chugging a Fanta,
I thought, ‘What am I stoned?
That sure looked like Santa!’
I looked back to my comp
Wondering ‘what’s going on?’
Looking again for the networks
Seeing that they were gone.
No Twitter, no Friend Feed,
No Digg, and no Linked In.
There was no Facebook, no Flickr,
Nothing for the win!

Still, I refused this notion
Ignoring all the proof,
That was when I heard hoofsteps
Up on the roof.
My mind simply racing
Overwhelmed with dread feelings
When suddenly St. Nick
Came crashing through my ceiling.
He landed with a thud,
And though it struck me as odd,
Santa was dressed
Like he worked for the Geek Squad.
His standard old pack
It too, had been replaced.
He carried no toys,
Just a modest briefcase.
His eyes, how they twinkled,
Or, I imagine they did.
I was still fixed on my ceiling
A little frustrated.
He tried to play it off
Placing the blame upon me
Saying I should have bought a place
That had a chimney.
His droll little mouth
Forced a smile that looked weird
As he brushed some debris
Free from his beard.
The stump of his pipe wagging
As his words were spoken,
Still clenched in his teeth
Though in his fall, it was broken.
And his round belly shook
As he let loose a laugh.
And, I said, ‘Dude, uncool.
You broke my roof with your ass.’
His smile went away,
And his laugh, it grew faint.
As he said, ‘Is that any way,
To talk to a Saint?’
My eyes widened, and I said,
‘I’m sorry, you’re right.’
Then with a wink of his eye
I knew it was alright.

Without further word
He went straight to his work.
Diving in to my computer
Then he turned with a jerk.
‘Was it the spammers?’ he asked
With a spark in his eyes.
But before I responded
He pulled out a flashdrive.
‘What’s on there?’ I asked,
But he just gave a slight shrug,
As he plugged the drive into
My Tardis USB hub.
‘I just know it’s the answer.’
He said giggling at himself.
‘It was developed by my
I.T. Department’s head elf.’
And then laying his finger
Aside of his chin,
The .rar files were uploaded
Santa’s software was in.
And like a miracle cure,
St. Nick’s app zapped the worm,
That allowed all the networks
To reconnect and return.
The spammer’s plan thwarted,
Santa sprang back to his sleigh.
And I threw him a salute
For having saved the day.
And I heard him exclaim,
Via some vocal transmitter,
‘Happy networking to all,
…And follow me on Twitter!’

Happy Holidays, everyone!

A Final Word

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